Aren’t We All a Bit OCD? No, actually we’re not.
What it’s like to have OCD when it isn’t related to tidiness or symmetry.
It’s curious how the term “a bit OCD” is used in common parlance to describe someone who cares more than most about tidiness or paying particular attention to how straight or lined up things are. Most of us use the word ‘OCD’ (obsessive compulsive disorder) without really understanding what the term means and certainly most of us would associate it with visible behaviours and not connect it with intrusive thoughts and underlying anxiety.
Reading Lily Bailey’s revealing memoir ‘Because We are Bad: OCD and a Girl lost in Thought’ (2016; Canbury Press) will change this misperception for many and help us understand more fully how debilitating OCD can be. In her memoir, Bailey writes about her childhood battle with debilitating OCD and her hard-won journey to recovery. Her brave and raw depiction of life with OCD enables us to see and understand this condition as never before.
Bailey has also contributed a valuable article in this month’s Psychology Today magazine.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/because-we-are-bad/202010/aren-t-we-all-bit-ocd-no-actually
She explains: ‘In reality, OCD is not a synonym for perfectionist nor is it a scale for anal retentiveness upon which we all fall somewhere. Those who suffer from OCD experience obsessions that cause them distress and respond to those obsessions by completing a compulsion. There are infinite numbers of obsessions someone could have or compulsions they may complete in response; the stereotype that says someone with OCD will have a tidy house where everything is lined up perfectly is untrue. Only some people will have a compulsion to tidy. Equally, OCD is not enjoyable or fun, so finding that having things lined up and colour-coordinated makes you happy doesn’t mean that you have OCD. It is only OCD if the absence of such order causes you debilitating stress and panic.
In my case, I was gripped by a fierce obsession that I was a bad person. Weird and strange obsessions flooded my brain whenever I was awake. From thinking I smelled, to worrying I had been rude, or killed someone with a thought—you name it, if it’s bad, I’ve probably thought it. Intrusive thoughts, random, uncomfortable thoughts that just pop into your head, are common in OCD, and I’ve had many of them. In fact, most people have intrusive thoughts. Have you ever stood on a platform and thought you might jump, or push someone else under a train? That’s an intrusive thought. Most people just think, oh, that was weird, and move on with their lives. People with OCD are highly anxious and likely to attach significance to things. When they have intrusive thoughts, they often become obsessions….’
‘The truth is, we don't really know what causes OCD. Researchers aren't sure yet, and they may not know in our lifetimes. Indeed, discussing the causes of mental health conditions is often much like wading through a murky and marshy bog. This can be frustrating for a generation who've become accustomed to having reams of scientific information at our fingertips.’
‘What we do know is that the condition is devastating. It is estimated that 1 to 2 percent of the population lives with OCD. Sufferers frequently wait years before seeking help. For many of these people, including me, the reason they don't confide in anyone because they don't realise they have it. There is much misinformation around what OCD actually is. They know they have strange thoughts. They know they are distressed by them. But they have no frame of reference for what they are going through. The thoughts they have seem bizarre, often frightening. They fear that if they told someone, they'd think they were mad.’ Follow Lily Bailey on Instagram @lilybaileyuk
What an illuminating article. How little we realise what we are saying when we throw around certain terms in our conversation and need to be mindful before doing so.
The Human Givens College is offering an online 1 day course, live-streamed next year on 19 January 2021 on understanding OCD and how to treat it. https://www.humangivens.com/college/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-online/